Mourning Customs in the Bible

• Tearing one’s clothes at bad newsGen 37:29, Gen 37:34, Gen 44:13, 2 Sam 1:11, 2 Sam 13:31, Job 1:20, 2 Kgs 2:12
  The verses

  Gen 37:29When Reuben returned to the pit and saw that Joseph was not there, he tore his clothes,

  Gen 37:34Then Jacob tore his clothes, put sackcloth around his waist, and mourned for his son many days.

  Gen 44:13Then they all tore their clothes, loaded their donkeys, and returned to the city.

  2 Sam 1:11Then David took hold of his own clothes and tore them, and all the men who were with him did the same.

  2 Sam 13:31Then the king stood up, tore his clothes, and lay down on the ground; and all his servants stood by with their clothes torn.

  Job 1:20Then Job stood up, tore his robe, and shaved his head. He fell to the ground and worshiped,

  2 Kgs 2:12As Elisha watched, he cried out, “My father, my father, the chariots and horsemen of Israel!” And he saw Elijah no more. So taking hold of his own clothes, he tore them in two.
• Sackcloth around the waistGen 37:34, 1 Kgs 21:27, Esth 4:1
  The verses

  Gen 37:34Then Jacob tore his clothes, put sackcloth around his waist, and mourned for his son many days.

  1 Kgs 21:27When Ahab heard these words, he tore his clothes, put on sackcloth, and fasted. He lay down in sackcloth and walked around meekly.

  Esth 4:1When Mordecai learned of all that had happened, he tore his clothes, put on sackcloth and ashes, and went out into the middle of the city, wailing loudly and bitterly.
• Dust or ashes on the headJosh 7:6, 2 Sam 13:19, 2 Sam 15:32, Job 2:12
  The verses

  Josh 7:6Then Joshua tore his clothes and fell facedown before the ark of the LORD until evening, as did the elders of Israel; and they all sprinkled dust on their heads.

  2 Sam 13:19And Tamar put ashes on her head and tore her robe. And putting her hand on her head, she went away crying bitterly.

  2 Sam 15:32When David came to the summit, where he used to worship God, Hushai the Archite was there to meet him with his robe torn and dust on his head.

  Job 2:12When they lifted up their eyes from afar, they could barely recognize Job. They began to weep aloud, and each man tore his robe and threw dust in the air over his head.
• Lying in sackcloth and ashesEsth 4:3, Jonah 3:6
  The verses

  Esth 4:3In every province to which the king’s command and edict came, there was great mourning among the Jews. They fasted, wept, and lamented, and many lay in sackcloth and ashes.

  Jonah 3:6When word reached the king of Nineveh, he got up from his throne, took off his royal robe, covered himself with sackcloth, and sat in ashes.
• Lying on the ground2 Sam 12:16, 2 Sam 13:31
  The verses

  2 Sam 12:16David pleaded with God for the boy. He fasted and went into his house and spent the night lying in sackcloth on the ground.

  2 Sam 13:31Then the king stood up, tore his clothes, and lay down on the ground; and all his servants stood by with their clothes torn.
• Head covered and feet bare2 Sam 15:30
  The verses

  2 Sam 15:30But David continued up the Mount of Olives, weeping as he went up. His head was covered, and he was walking barefoot. And all the people with him covered their heads and went up, weeping as they went.
• Covering the face2 Sam 19:4, Esth 6:12
  The verses

  2 Sam 19:4But the king covered his face and cried out at the top of his voice, “O my son Absalom! O Absalom, my son, my son!”

  Esth 6:12Then Mordecai returned to the king’s gate. But Haman rushed home, with his head covered in grief.
• Pulling out hair from the head and beardEzra 9:3
  The verses

  Ezra 9:3When I heard this report, I tore my tunic and cloak, pulled out some hair from my head and beard, and sat down in horror.
• Shaving the headJob 1:20, Ezek 27:31
  The verses

  Job 1:20Then Job stood up, tore his robe, and shaved his head. He fell to the ground and worshiped,

  Ezek 27:31They will shave their heads for you and wrap themselves in sackcloth. They will weep over you with anguish of soul and bitter mourning.
• Taking off jewelryExod 33:4–6
  The verses

  Exod 33:4–6When the people heard these bad tidings, they went into mourning, and no one put on any of his jewelry. For the LORD had said to Moses, “Tell the Israelites, ‘You are a stiff-necked people. If I should go with you for a single moment, I would destroy you. Now take off your jewelry, and I will decide what to do with you.’” So the Israelites stripped themselves of their jewelry from Mount Horeb onward.
• No anointing with oil, and clothes for mourning2 Sam 14:2, Dan 10:3
  The verses

  2 Sam 14:2So Joab sent to Tekoa to bring a wise woman from there. He told her, “Please pretend to be a mourner; put on clothes for mourning and do not anoint yourself with oil. Act like a woman who has mourned for the dead a long time.

  Dan 10:3I ate no rich food, no meat or wine entered my mouth, and I did not anoint myself with oil until the three weeks were completed.
• Mourners walk the streetsEccl 12:5
  The verses

  Eccl 12:5when men fear the heights and dangers of the road, when the almond tree blossoms, the grasshopper loses its spring, and the caper berry shrivels— for then man goes to his eternal home and mourners walk the streets.
• Skillful wailing women were called to lamentJer 9:17–18
  The verses

  Jer 9:17–18This is what the LORD of Hosts says: “Take note, and summon the wailing women; send for the most skillful among them. Let them come quickly and take up a lament over us, that our eyes may overflow with tears, and our eyelids may gush with water.
• Flute players and a noisy crowd at a dead girl’s houseMatt 9:23
  The verses

  Matt 9:23When Jesus entered the house of the synagogue leader, He saw the flute players and the noisy crowd.
• Friends come to console the familyJohn 11:19, John 11:31
  The verses

  John 11:19and many of the Jews had come to Martha and Mary to console them in the loss of their brother.

  John 11:31When the Jews who were in the house consoling Mary saw how quickly she got up and went out, they followed her, supposing she was going to the tomb to mourn there.

In the Law

• No cutting the body or shaving the forehead for the deadLev 19:28, Deut 14:1
  The verses

  Lev 19:28You must not make any cuts in your bodies for the dead or put tattoo marks on yourselves. I am the LORD.

  Deut 14:1You are sons of the LORD your God; do not cut yourselves or shave your foreheads on behalf of the dead,
• Touching a dead body made one unclean for seven daysNum 19:11, Num 19:16
  The verses

  Num 19:11Whoever touches any dead body will be unclean for seven days.

  Num 19:16Anyone in the open field who touches someone who has been killed by the sword or has died of natural causes, or anyone who touches a human bone or a grave, will be unclean for seven days.
• Priests may defile themselves only for close familyLev 21:1–3
  The verses

  Lev 21:1–3Then the LORD said to Moses, “Speak to Aaron’s sons, the priests, and tell them that a priest is not to defile himself for a dead person among his people, except for his immediate family—his mother, father, son, daughter, or brother, or his unmarried sister who is near to him, since she has no husband.
• The high priest must not tear his garments or go near a bodyLev 21:10–11
  The verses

  Lev 21:10–11The priest who is highest among his brothers, who has had the anointing oil poured on his head and has been ordained to wear the priestly garments, must not let his hair hang loose or tear his garments. He must not go near any dead body; he must not defile himself, even for his father or mother.
• Aaron and his sons must not mourn Nadab and AbihuLev 10:6
  The verses

  Lev 10:6Then Moses said to Aaron and his sons Eleazar and Ithamar, “Do not let your hair become disheveled and do not tear your garments, or else you will die, and the LORD will be angry with the whole congregation. But your brothers, the whole house of Israel, may mourn on account of the fire that the LORD has ignited.
• Nothing of the tithe was to be eaten while in mourningDeut 26:14
  The verses

  Deut 26:14I have not eaten any of the sacred portion while in mourning, or removed any of it while unclean, or offered any of it for the dead. I have obeyed the LORD my God; I have done everything You commanded me.

Examples

• Abraham mourns and weeps for SarahGen 23:2
  The verses

  Gen 23:2She died in Kiriath-arba (that is, Hebron) in the land of Canaan, and Abraham went out to mourn and to weep for her.
• Jacob refuses to be comforted for JosephGen 37:34–35
  The verses

  Gen 37:34–35Then Jacob tore his clothes, put sackcloth around his waist, and mourned for his son many days. All his sons and daughters tried to comfort him, but he refused to be comforted. “No,” he said. “I will go down to Sheol mourning for my son.” So his father wept for him.
• Egypt mourns Jacob seventy days; Joseph mourns seven days at AtadGen 50:3, Gen 50:10–11
  The verses

  Gen 50:3taking the forty days required to complete the embalming. And the Egyptians mourned for him seventy days.

  Gen 50:10–11When they reached the threshing floor of Atad, which is across the Jordan, they lamented and wailed loudly, and Joseph mourned for his father seven days. When the Canaanites of the land saw the mourning at the threshing floor of Atad, they said, “This is a solemn ceremony of mourning by the Egyptians.” Thus the place across the Jordan is called Abel-mizraim.
• Israel mourns thirty days for Aaron, and thirty for MosesNum 20:28–29, Deut 34:8
  The verses

  Num 20:28–29After Moses had removed Aaron’s garments and put them on his son Eleazar, Aaron died there on top of the mountain. Then Moses and Eleazar came down from the mountain. When the whole congregation saw that Aaron had died, the entire house of Israel mourned for him thirty days.

  Deut 34:8The Israelites grieved for Moses in the plains of Moab thirty days, until the time of weeping and mourning for Moses came to an end.
• Loud wailing in Egypt: no house without someone deadExod 12:30
  The verses

  Exod 12:30During the night Pharaoh got up—he and all his officials and all the Egyptians—and there was loud wailing in Egypt; for there was no house without someone dead.
• David and his men weep until they have no strength left1 Sam 30:4
  The verses

  1 Sam 30:4So David and the troops with him lifted up their voices and wept until they had no strength left to weep.
• David’s lament for Saul and Jonathan: “How the mighty have fallen!”2 Sam 1:17–19
  The verses

  2 Sam 1:17–19Then David took up this lament for Saul and his son Jonathan, and he ordered that the sons of Judah be taught the Song of the Bow. It is written in the Book of Jashar: “Your glory, O Israel, lies slain on your heights. How the mighty have fallen!
• David’s lament for Abner2 Sam 3:33–34
  The verses

  2 Sam 3:33–34And the king sang this lament for Abner: “Should Abner die the death of a fool? Your hands were not bound, your feet were not fettered. As a man falls before the wicked, so also you fell.” And all the people wept over him even more.
• “O my son Absalom! My son, my son!”2 Sam 18:33, 2 Sam 19:4
  The verses

  2 Sam 18:33The king was shaken and went up to the gate chamber and wept. And as he walked, he cried out, “O my son Absalom! My son, my son Absalom! If only I had died instead of you, O Absalom, my son, my son!”

  2 Sam 19:4But the king covered his face and cried out at the top of his voice, “O my son Absalom! O Absalom, my son, my son!”
• Bathsheba mourns for Uriah2 Sam 11:26–27
  The verses

  2 Sam 11:26–27When Uriah’s wife heard that her husband was dead, she mourned for him. And when the time of mourning was over, David had her brought to his house, and she became his wife and bore him a son. But the thing that David had done was evil in the sight of the LORD.
• Choirs of men and women sing laments over Josiah2 Chr 35:24–25
  The verses

  2 Chr 35:24–25So his servants took him out of his chariot, put him in his second chariot, and brought him to Jerusalem, where he died. And Josiah was buried in the tomb of his fathers, and all Judah and Jerusalem mourned for him. Then Jeremiah lamented over Josiah, and to this day all the choirs of men and women sing laments over Josiah. They established them as a statute for Israel, and indeed they are written in the Book of Laments.
• Mordecai wails in sackcloth; sackcloth was barred at the king’s gateEsth 4:1–2
  The verses

  Esth 4:1–2When Mordecai learned of all that had happened, he tore his clothes, put on sackcloth and ashes, and went out into the middle of the city, wailing loudly and bitterly. But he went only as far as the king’s gate, because the law prohibited anyone wearing sackcloth from entering that gate.